This may seem like a ridiculous proposition, but we hosted a 30th anniversary party this weekend — and I am here to tell you, it’s the best thing we’ve done in a long time. Give a party. I highly recommend it. It will turn your entire mindset around.
I know. Everything argues against celebrating — take your pick of existential threats. But empirically, I can attest: having a party makes you feel better. It’s joy therapy. (I mean the emotion, not just me).
The Joy of Gathering
The festivities began in the Gazebo at the winery with bubbles and oysters — Hog Island Sweetwaters, fresh-shucked, small, creamy yet firm, and perfect with sparkling. From there, we strolled along Palm Olive Drive, through the garden, and up to the terrace at my mother’s house, where thirty close friends and family gathered at one long table beneath a canopy of trees — a bright dome of green.
Down the center ran purple hydrangeas in green glass vases, flanked by bottles of Chardonnay and Pinot Noir. Seating was left to chance: each guest drew a numbered cork from a basket to find their place. Lunch unfolded with a gorgeous summer salad, Manchego with membrillo, and paella, followed by tres leches cake and magnums of Brut Rosé LD on the lower terrace by the house.
Who wouldn’t feel happy?
Joy Therapy, Explained
There’s actually science behind “joy therapy.”
The Best Reasons to Throw a Party
Before Covid, we all gave and went to parties. Then isolation made us homebodies, or even introverts. Some of us forgot how much we need the energy of others. Social psychologist Jonathan Haidt has written about the “crisis of connection” in American life — rising loneliness, declining trust, fewer shared experiences. Parties are one antidote.
Throughout human history, feasting and celebration have been essential. From harvest festivals to weddings, we’ve always needed moments of collective joy. Barbara Ehrenreich, in Dancing in the Streets, traces the history of festivals, carnivals, and mass celebrations, arguing that communal joy — from ancient Dionysian rituals to modern street parties — is essential to human connection and resilience.
She argues that our species evolved to celebrate; it’s in our DNA, giving historical and cultural weight to the idea that celebrating together isn’t frivolous, it’s deeply human.
So, when the world says retreat, I say: party.
Joyspan: Proof at the Table
I first read about Joyspan just last month in the New York Times Well section, and the idea stuck with me. Dr. Kerry Burnight, who coined the term, argues that a long lifespan isn’t enough — you also have to like your life.
Our party became the validation. My 94-year-old mother — hostess with the mostest — sat at the head of the table, raising her glass, presiding with ease, and connecting with friends. Watching her laugh and lead reminded me that joy isn’t a frivolity; it’s what makes a long life worth living. And that clicks perfectly with joy therapy: actively creating moments of happiness and connection.
Why Celebrate?
At Iron Horse, we’ve always believed that bubbles aren’t just for grand occasions. They’re for Tuesday nights, for oysters at noon, for anniversaries of every kind. To celebrate is to resist gloom. To celebrate is to lean into gratitude.
So yes, in defense of parties: throw one. It doesn’t have to be fancy. It doesn’t have to be big. But do it. Happiness is contagious, resilience is built in connection, and joy is muscle memory — it comes right back when you use it.
We had a party. Thirty people, oysters, bubbles, lunch under the trees. It was joy therapy. And science agrees.
